A More Glorious Dawn

Nothing is worse than a blank page left to be blank. I should start writing in here more. A lot has happened since i checked in last June. I stopped writing because of some depression. Everything was falling apart. and nothing made sense. I took to many things for granted and I was reeling from the brutal unfairness of life. Going home wasn't an option for various reasons... and staying here was unbearable.

And still I held on, proclaiming that I will go with the flow, but constantly fighting the river. Then I gave up, not in the sense that I gave up on life, rather in the sense that I can't control life. I've turned from a schemer into an opportunist. I still make plans, but no plan is immune to altercation or postponement due to circumstances.

But now... things are changing. I see something emerging that I never gave much thought to, something I never thought could happen, something I want that my whole life has shown me that I can't have. So, instead of letting go and going with whatever, I find myself fighting the urge to vie for the deadly vice of control.

So in order to bleed off some energy, I have decided on a project to keep me focused and busy. I am starting a graphic novel. I plan to have it finished in a couple of years. This should give me something to do that is all mine, independent of others.

something I can call my own. Cause lets be honest... there's not too much I can claim to be mine these days....